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I think this may become a problem

I really want to try hard drugs… I wish I could explain why, but I really want to feel the rush of them, the effect they have. I’ve spent so much time reading about criminals being affected by withdraw while going through the legal system; read so many testimonies as to why they do this. I want to know what euphoria feels like. I want that joy, the bliss, the carefree feeling. I want to lose control yet be in complete control. I want to do this so bad and I don’t understand why…

I want to get lost in a drug. I want to find myself. I want something that is not available in everyday life. I want something different.

rawr

I don’t understand. This is all confusing. Moving way to fast. Maybe I’m moving way to slow. 

I’m just scared to lose control. Scared to lose myself. Maybe there is redemption out there. :/ 

Is it safe to come out yet?

I’d love a tattoo like this one day. 

I’d love a tattoo like this one day.